Frustrated that their skills are largely ignored by the hero-worshipping adolatory babes, mathematicians (few of them) have started flexing their muscles by solving the one problem that mystifies all, one that of beer head.
“It’s exhilarating,” Srolovitz (the math guy) says. “I’ve always found this problem very sexy.”
Sexy or not, complex equations certainly provide a tantalizing hint at a future without beer-head; an elysium of free flowing beer on clean table tops.
Who knew that the solution to heady problem boils down to a single equation,
“According to the new equation, the change in volume….is essentially the sum of the lengths of the domain’s edges (imagine a honeycomb) minus six times the mean width of the domain, all multiplied by a constant that is particular to the material in question.”
The material in question, of course, being beer, the one beverage (other than water) that man and dog like alike.
But before we start celebrating, solving the equation could be harder than what your local bartender could tackle.
“‘It’s a very complicated type of evolution,”… “It’s going to be much harder to figure out how the network behaves.'”
But if that doesnt convince young kids to take up maths, then I dont know what will. Previous approaches to beer zen have involved undergoing rigorous physical training, as in the example here.
Math seems so much better.
The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
(J R R Tolkien; From the Lord of the Rings.)
For more great poems, categorized in every imaginable manner, visit the Wondering Minstrels
A few gems that can be found at www.wikihow.com:
Life in the wild (How to survive avalanches, alligators, winters, volcanoes, freestyle rap battles, piranhas, making sweat baths)
Lifestyle choices (growing pineapples, caring for donkeys, playing with large parrots, being Gothic Lolitas, raising kids to be rich, acting insane)
Geek tips (impressing people by ripping phonebooks and slashing bottles, getting girlfriends to play videogames, writing and sharing online obituaries)
The really serious (how to save a life)
The last one of course, is an attempt at humour.
Religion is the opium of the people, said Marx
No, it is television, implied Calvin (to Hobbes)
But in certain parts of the world, another kind of snuff brings the populace to a frenzy. It is legal, organized and sponsored by public money. It does not sedate or soothe the mind, but tranforms the most civil of tongues into waspish and reduces otherwise strong hearts to a state of hysterics. I devour it, you enjoy it, your girlfriend/boyfriend loves it and parents nod approvingly when their kids do it.
Isnt’t the cricket world cup the world’s biggest rave party?